Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Act 1: Scene 1
Even here, I struggle to begin, to find the words, to be honest. Even here, where mice can be dragons, and trolls can be golden haired heiresses, I struggle to begin.
I'm searching for a girl - See, this girl, this one in the photos - this one of the quick smile, and the bright eyes, and the throaty laugh. The irony is not lost on me, of the real girl, trapped in celluloid.
Tears cannot find her, though I have laid a long and shining path of them. There was a castle, in a land far far away, once upon a time. There might even have been a princess, but she wasn't me.
How far back must I go to find her, this real girl, this real me?
Maybe all the way to the beginning...maybe even further.
Hello, my name is Chi and I want to be REAL (again).
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit
What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"The Velveteen Rabbit", Margery Williams, 1922
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